Recently I had the honor and indescribable pleasure to sit down with
BWE Panelist, Sherrod Small. He's been making us laugh on
Best Week Ever (airing tonight on Vh1 at 9 and 11 p.m.!) since it BEGAN, folks. He's one of the originals and has much wisdom to impart. He's got lots of new projects he wants to tell us about - including his work with
Chris Rock,
The Tony Rock Project, his special bond with
John Mayer, and, of course,
the status of his d*ck. Enjoy.
BWE: I tried to do some internet research on you, because that's where our lovely blog exists.
Sherrod: Right, in the internet.
BWE: Yes, I know you're not used to it, because you're a TV star.
Sherrod: That's right. But…I do go on the internet.
BWE: You don't have a website.
Sherrod: No. But, I'm launching a website this August! I'm having a party in the city. I'm going to have a lot of big friends there, like
John Mayer. Everybody's coming. But I'm trying to actually launch it right about my birthday on August 15th.
BWE: You
could do it on 8-8-08.
Sherrod: I could, but the Olympics are dropping that day, and I might be in Australia with
Chris Rock that day, because I help him write some of the stuff for the tour and what not. The tour is going strong right now, so I'm just going down there to check out some of the international stops on it.
BWE: So you help prep him for his tour?
Sherrod: Right, like, [mimicking a hairstylist] "your hair look good that way, you should wear your hair like that."
BWE: What can we expect from your new website?
Sherrod: There is going to be a lot of footage of me performing, and of different TV shows that I've done, like the A&E, AMC, VH1 stuff.
BWE: Is it going to be more of a static website or are you going to be blogging on it?
Sherrod: It's going to be blogging on it, it's going to be full blogs.
BWE: Full blog?
Sherrod: Full blog press, it's going to be bloggin, 24 hour bloggin.
Sherrod sexually harasses me, after the jump!
BWE: You know, your
Wikipedia page is lacking.
Sherrod: Yes, Wikipedia? Then why don't you throw something on that for me?
BWE: Why don't you give me a tid bit that I can put on there, like personal information?
Sherrod: Ok…I'm huge.
BWE: Huge physically?
Sherrod: Yes. Exactly. Also, I was raised in Brooklyn. I went to a catholic school in Brooklyn. Then I went to college in Baltimore, Maryland at Morgan State University. There I started comedy and I opened a store too. Me and all my friends came from New York and went to college in Maryland, so we were like, hey lets bring sh*t down here so people won't have to go home to go shopping. We sold everything, f*ckin pagers and Parasuco's.
We woulda sold slaves if they let us, you can quote me on that, SLAVES! And then I started out on the
Chris Rock show, did sketches on
Conan O'Brian, then I was a writer and producer on
Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Then
Best Week Ever started, and I was like fuck you Colin.
BWE: What advice would you give to someone wanting to be on
Best Week Ever?
Sherrod: If you want to get video taped writing what you want, you gotta suck a d*ck.
BWE: Hahaha.
Sherrod: No, I'm telling you, drop to your knees and suck it.
BWE: Right, no really...
Sherrod: I mean, put away your notebook and drop to your knees, stop laughing. My d*ck is out.
BWE: I can't help it, it's really funny, when I see something really funny, I laugh.
Sherrod: Haha, yeah I know.
[Laughter awkwardly dies down. Sherrod puts his dick away.]
Sherrod: But my advice to them, is just to ya know, try to be as funny as you can and in as many ways as you can, like whenever you get the opportunity, even if it is a blog, or you're trying to do stand up, or just acting or, you know, dancing in the subway….
just know that your voice counts, I just don't want to hear it, and don't come to me.
BWE: So, you have a special bond with
John Mayer.
Sherrod: That's right, I think his d*ck tastes funny, but everything else is great, he's really a chum, what a fella! He's a good dude. His d*ck just tastes funny.
BWE: You two made a big splash with your
Chocolate Rain remix.
Sherrod: [singing] Chocolate rain, comin' down, on my body…
BWE: So did you do that in one take, or was it rehearsed?
Sherrod: One take. That was a one taker. And then when we did
the boat ride, because me and Johnny did a boat ride to the Bahamas, and actually
there were people with shirts on with me and his picture on it that played the song.
BWE: The shirt
played the song?
Sherrod: The shirt played the f*cking song, and when I went up to customs, customs was like I've seen your face all day, I was like what are you talking about? And it was a person in the line that, customs let them jump the line to show me the damn shirt. And she pushed it and it sang Chocolate Rain. You know how much money I made outta that?
None.
BWE: What websites, do you regularly visit?
Sherrod: I regularly visit
JohnMayer.com and
Tony Rock. He and I have been working on
The Tony Rock Project. He's my cousin. He just sold a show to
MyNetworkTV, and that's where my energies will be on that for like the next few months. As writer, performer, producer, everything. Write that in bold italic letters,
Tony. Rock. Project.
BWE: For all the ladies out there, and the men…
Sherrod: 'Cause you know they want it too.
BWE: Everybody does.
Sherrod: Everybody wants a piece.
BWE: ...are you single?
Sherrod: Yes I'm single, single and mingle! I'm like
George Clooney in the hood. 'Cause girls ya know, I would be settled down, but a lot of girls have problems with you havin' sex with other girls, and especially when they are there. So I like to keep it movin' as much as I… but you know, I've been in long relationships now, I've been in relationships. I know how to treat a woman,
and I especially know how to treat a whore.
[Breaks table in half with his d*ck.]
Catch Sherrod on Vh1's
Best Week Ever, every Friday night at 9 and 11 p.m.! Also, when his new website with 24 hour bloggin' launches, we'll be sure to bring you the scoop.
PROFILES IN PANELISM: Sherrod Small Is Huge. 
