(ED NOTE: "Soundtrack" will be a new recurring feature in which we tell you more about the music heard in each episode of Best Week Ever.) "One Week of Danger" by The Virgins is in this week’s show and Christian Finnegan is here to tell you why you should love them as much as he does! The bad news about The Virgins is, they sound like a bunch of other bands. The good news is, all of those bands are pretty great. It’s one half Strokes (yeah, I know), one half young Elvis Costello and one half “Missing You” era Stones. Yes, I’m aware that we have a surplus of halves here, but I think these kids deserve the bonus. Great vocals, tight arrangements and some kick-arse bass playing. But it’s the Virgins’ general vibe, more so than any one specific tune, that’s so durn appealing. These dudes sound like they’re creating music for an early Eighties sex comedy that never existed. Midway through ‘One Week of Danger’, you can almost envision a blond teenage girl with a poofy new wave hairdo running through a kegger in her underwear, boobs bouncing majestically in super slo-mo. I can’t think of a bigger compliment one could give a young band of musicians. This is party music for sexy people and sex music for party people. The self titled album by The Virgins is available now. Video for “Private Affair”, and links to find out more about the band, after the jump! The Virgins official site The Virgins MySpace page Hear The Virgins on Rhapsody

• As part of their most amazing special of all time, Primetime: Outsiders brings us a preview to ABCs new feel-good comedy of the summer, 9 People... and a Pony.
• Sara roams the digital aisles of record covers and brings you the 30 Most Adorable Album Covers Ever. I always thought Mariyn Manson hanging off the cross was kind of adorable, but hey, to each their own.
• Alex french kisses a window, and the three of us bloggers come thisclose to calling HR.
• And if you look closely enough, you might even see his Letterman tooth tattoo.
• I'm pretty sure 50 Animals Squashed Against Glass didn't get its proper due, so if you haven't looked at it yet, please do so now.
• It's official: Wall-E is the greatest movie of our time.
• Pregnant Transman finally gives birth!!!! And you thought passing kidney stones was painful.
• Finally, Happy 4th of July from your friends, The Muppets.

DON'T FORGET: Tune into Vh1 tonight for a brand new episode of BEST WEEK EVER! 9 PM, 11 PM, and all weekend.

Recently I had the honor and indescribable pleasure to sit down with BWE Panelist, Sherrod Small. He's been making us laugh on Best Week Ever (airing tonight on Vh1 at 9 and 11 p.m.!) since it BEGAN, folks. He's one of the originals and has much wisdom to impart. He's got lots of new projects he wants to tell us about - including his work with Chris Rock, The Tony Rock Project, his special bond with John Mayer, and, of course, the status of his d*ck. Enjoy. BWE: I tried to do some internet research on you, because that's where our lovely blog exists. Sherrod: Right, in the internet. BWE: Yes, I know you're not used to it, because you're a TV star. Sherrod: That's right. But…I do go on the internet. BWE: You don't have a website. Sherrod: No. But, I'm launching a website this August! I'm having a party in the city. I'm going to have a lot of big friends there, like John Mayer. Everybody's coming. But I'm trying to actually launch it right about my birthday on August 15th. BWE: You could do it on 8-8-08. Sherrod: I could, but the Olympics are dropping that day, and I might be in Australia with Chris Rock that day, because I help him write some of the stuff for the tour and what not. The tour is going strong right now, so I'm just going down there to check out some of the international stops on it. BWE: So you help prep him for his tour? Sherrod: Right, like, [mimicking a hairstylist] "your hair look good that way, you should wear your hair like that." BWE: What can we expect from your new website? Sherrod: There is going to be a lot of footage of me performing, and of different TV shows that I've done, like the A&E, AMC, VH1 stuff. BWE: Is it going to be more of a static website or are you going to be blogging on it? Sherrod: It's going to be blogging on it, it's going to be full blogs. BWE: Full blog? Sherrod: Full blog press, it's going to be bloggin, 24 hour bloggin. Sherrod sexually harasses me, after the jump! BWE: You know, your Wikipedia page is lacking. Sherrod: Yes, Wikipedia? Then why don't you throw something on that for me? BWE: Why don't you give me a tid bit that I can put on there, like personal information? Sherrod: Ok…I'm huge. BWE: Huge physically? Sherrod: Yes. Exactly. Also, I was raised in Brooklyn. I went to a catholic school in Brooklyn. Then I went to college in Baltimore, Maryland at Morgan State University. There I started comedy and I opened a store too. Me and all my friends came from New York and went to college in Maryland, so we were like, hey lets bring sh*t down here so people won't have to go home to go shopping. We sold everything, f*ckin pagers and Parasuco's. We woulda sold slaves if they let us, you can quote me on that, SLAVES! And then I started out on the Chris Rock show, did sketches on Conan O'Brian, then I was a writer and producer on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Then Best Week Ever started, and I was like fuck you Colin. BWE: What advice would you give to someone wanting to be on Best Week Ever? Sherrod: If you want to get video taped writing what you want, you gotta suck a d*ck. BWE: Hahaha. Sherrod: No, I'm telling you, drop to your knees and suck it. BWE: Right, no really... Sherrod: I mean, put away your notebook and drop to your knees, stop laughing. My d*ck is out. BWE: I can't help it, it's really funny, when I see something really funny, I laugh. Sherrod: Haha, yeah I know. [Laughter awkwardly dies down. Sherrod puts his dick away.] Sherrod: But my advice to them, is just to ya know, try to be as funny as you can and in as many ways as you can, like whenever you get the opportunity, even if it is a blog, or you're trying to do stand up, or just acting or, you know, dancing in the subway….just know that your voice counts, I just don't want to hear it, and don't come to me. BWE: So, you have a special bond with John Mayer. Sherrod: That's right, I think his d*ck tastes funny, but everything else is great, he's really a chum, what a fella! He's a good dude. His d*ck just tastes funny. BWE: You two made a big splash with your Chocolate Rain remix. Sherrod: [singing] Chocolate rain, comin' down, on my body… BWE: So did you do that in one take, or was it rehearsed? Sherrod: One take. That was a one taker. And then when we did the boat ride, because me and Johnny did a boat ride to the Bahamas, and actually there were people with shirts on with me and his picture on it that played the song. BWE: The shirt played the song? Sherrod: The shirt played the f*cking song, and when I went up to customs, customs was like I've seen your face all day, I was like what are you talking about? And it was a person in the line that, customs let them jump the line to show me the damn shirt. And she pushed it and it sang Chocolate Rain. You know how much money I made outta that? None. BWE: What websites, do you regularly visit? Sherrod: I regularly visit JohnMayer.com and Tony Rock. He and I have been working on The Tony Rock Project. He's my cousin. He just sold a show to MyNetworkTV, and that's where my energies will be on that for like the next few months. As writer, performer, producer, everything. Write that in bold italic letters, Tony. Rock. Project. BWE: For all the ladies out there, and the men… Sherrod: 'Cause you know they want it too. BWE: Everybody does. Sherrod: Everybody wants a piece. BWE: ...are you single? Sherrod: Yes I'm single, single and mingle! I'm like George Clooney in the hood. 'Cause girls ya know, I would be settled down, but a lot of girls have problems with you havin' sex with other girls, and especially when they are there. So I like to keep it movin' as much as I… but you know, I've been in long relationships now, I've been in relationships. I know how to treat a woman, and I especially know how to treat a whore. [Breaks table in half with his d*ck.] Catch Sherrod on Vh1's Best Week Ever, every Friday night at 9 and 11 p.m.! Also, when his new website with 24 hour bloggin' launches, we'll be sure to bring you the scoop.

So You Think You Can Dance is starting to get INTENSE, you guys. This was the first week that a really strong couple was in the bottom three - and clearly, from here on out we're going to have to get used to some of our favorite dancers laying it on the line and possibly going home. The highlight of the evening was the mind-exploding performance of contortion-y popper, Robert Morane, who (sort of?) agreed to a dance off with Nigel's other favorite popper, Phillip Chbeeb. Nigel was clearly still bitter that Robert had quit back in Vegas, and it got kind of uncomfortable there for a second, because Robert didn't respond to the jabs. Nevertheless, I actually thought Robert's routine in the auditions was better than what he did last night. The show opened with a dance number choreographed by Tyce D'Orio, set to "Money Money" from Cabaret. The contestants were dressed up like they were getting an old timey photo taken at Six Flags. The dance was fun, and at the end they tossed fake money up in the air that had Nigel's face on it. Lest we forget that this is Lord Nigel's television program. Find out who went home, after the jump! Cat Deeley (is one step away from looking like Padmé Amidala) calls out the first two couples, Kherington & Twitch, and Katee & Joshua. As expected, both are safe. Because Cat did the usual bait and switch in her reveal, both couples were "shocked" that they were safe, and their reactions were just a bit on the melodramatic side, don't you think? Next out for the chopping block are Kourtni & Matt, Courtney & Gev, and Chelsie & Mark. Kourtni (her hair is punky!) and Matt are in the bottom three. Tabitha and Napoleon surmise that this is a result of them not connecting with the audience, particularly Matt. Courtney and Gev are also in the bottom. Nigel tried to make a joke once again about their height, but ended up just sounding like he was making fun of little people. Regardless, he thinks that this result is no big deal because of the level we're at in the competition, it just stacked up that way. Chelsie and Mark are safe (naturally). Finally, it's down to Thayne & Comfort and Jessica & Will. Obviously we're all sick of Jessica, but Will carries her through once again. Thayne and Comfort will be dancing (once again) for their lives. Mary was sad to see them in this position because she's seen them grow and believes Thayne is always there 100% for his partners. She also pointed out that he really stood out in the group number. Next up, Robert Morane did his thing, to C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat" - a song that most of the teens in the audience had probably never heard before, which made me feel a bit old. After the commercial break, we were subjected to another one of those Snuggle commercials for the "happy dance" contest - wherein a viewer is selected by the dancers based on a home video of them dancing. Honestly, I am thinking about submitting one, because how AWESOME would it be to go to the finale??? Any ideas on what I should do in my video? Now for the solo dances. Everyone did a solid job in my opinion. Kourtni seemed not all there, though. Matt did a cool move where he fell the floor and kind of kicked his leg out, Courtney's routine was really electric and high energy, and Gev's hip-hop dance was super good. Comfort's was a repeat of what she usually does. The standout solo though was definitely Thayne, who danced to the Queen classic "I Want To Break Free." I really felt his personality was real in this one, and not so flaky and phony like it usually feels. It's obvious that the judges are going to have a very hard time choosing who to send home. The band performing tonight is One Republic, performing their song "Say (All I Need)". It wasn't bad, your typical Coldplay knockoff type band with a dude on piano singing in the lofty ranges. But whoah, this dude REALLY LOOKS LIKE SPENCER PRATT, which is just so unfortunate for him. Finally, we're down to the eliminations. Nigel talks to the girls first. He says that in his SEVEN seasons of American Idol, and FOUR seasons of SYTYCD (we get it, you're seasoned, okay?), he has never cared this much about the contestants. It was a tough decision and NOT unanimous. Courtney is safe. He then calls Comfort forward and tells her that she did not get his vote, but that others voted for her, and therefore she IS staying. That means Kourtni is gone. You can really see her heart break. I really liked her - and wonder if she was matched with someone like Twitch, if she would ever have been in the bottom three. BUT I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW NOW. And for the boys. Gev breezes through to next week. Nigel talks to Matt next. He says that they feel that he came into the competition at a very high level, but has yet to grow from that stage, and therefore "we're going to call it a day with you tonight." Matt's final words were nice, "I've never laughed harder, and never had more fun doing what I love." Awwww. My prediction was 50% correct this week, and now we're down to the top 12 dancers. HANG ON FOR THIS TILT-A-WHIRL OF COMPETITION! It's so much more than dancing...IT'S SO MUCH MORE.

Slightly NSFW, but if you're at work today, eff them, they deserve to overhear some swear words:

Today is July 4, America's birthday, and dare I say she look fabulous at 232 years old. But while you're busy pounding beers and getting burnt and eatin' dogs and blowing your fingers up in your day-long birthday festivities, consider these other celebrities also born on July 4. Perhaps you could also do an obligatory birthday shot wishing one of these people a happy, happy: 1. American Royalty Kathleen Kennedy Townsend 2. Koko the Gorilla 3. Legendary actress Eva Marie Saint 4. Co-founder of Muslims For America Muhammad Ali Hasan 5. "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World" Gina Lollobrigida 6. American Idol Gina Glocksen 7. Deceased German Actor Wolfgang von Schwindt 8. The only President to ever be born on Fourth of July Calvin Coolidge 9. Puerto Rican Squirrels casting director Sean Paul Hackett 10. New York Yankees Owner George M. Steinbrenner III 11. New Orleans Saints Defensive End Will Smith (so close) 12. The World's Tiniest Gangster Meyer Lanskey 13. French teen actress Fanny Valette 14. My Blood Doesn't Clot Right production assistant Monte 15. America's Youngest Patriotic Actor Jaden Morgan, best know for playing "Baby" 16. Porn Star Eufrat 17. Former German Health Minister Horst Seehofer 18. The Scarlet Letter novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne 19. Film pioneer Louis B. Mayer 20. America's Most Treasured Playwright Neil Simon

Just because to day is the day our country was born, all small and pink and squint-faced, doesn't mean that Best Week Ever: The Show is taking a break. In fact, there's a brand new episode of BWE on tonight at 9 PM, 11 PM, and all weekend long! To celebrate both America's Bday and our dedication to the craft, we present the following BWE: Extras reel, featuring beloved panelist John Mulaney, who has a sweet, patriotic message for the world's most beloved actor, George Takei.

What better way to celebrate our freedom than an obese man carving a sculpture of the signing of the Declaration of Independence out of cheese as part of a publicity stunt for Cheez-It? Happy f*cking birthday, America! After the jump, another picture of the completed masterpiece.

While you were hyping yourself up for the Macy's Fireworks Show, Shea Hess was having the Best Night Ever! In this special holiday edition, Shea reminds us why we fought for our independence in the first place and takes you through the best moments from Hell's Kitchen, Top Gear, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, and Man Vs. Wild!

• MUST READ LINK: Mental Floss puts together the origins of your 10 favorite muppets. (via Gorillamask)
• GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS: The Bad News is Larry Harmon, who played Bozo the Clown, passed away today at 83. The Good News? There's one less of these in the world: (Yahoo)

• THE PUKEY BUNCH: Cindy Brady, i.e. Susan Olsen, showed up to a radio interview hungover and promptly vomited. But listen -- if you spent your entire life trying to live down your miniature self in blonde curly pigtails, you'd probably spoon a bottle of Jack Daniels to sleep too. (TMZ)
• THE METAL HAMMER: I don't know who Villa Valo is, but if he's the direct offspring of Vincent Gallo and Jack White, as I suspect he is, then I guess meeting/worshipping him wouldn't be half bad. (ONTD)
• TRAGEDY: Christina Applegate's boyfriend Lee Grivas was found dead in his apartment. He was only 26. (US Weekly)

Have you ever said to your girlfriends, "Hey girls, you know what? My down-there could really use a rubdown and a salt bath!" Well now there's something OTHER than awkward silence that will follow that statement. A trip to Phit, New York City's new spa just for vaginas! Phit is dedicated to "pelvic fitness":

The signature treatment will be a $150 gynecological exam — in which a client contracts her pelvic muscles around Dr. Romanzi’s fingers — to determine by feel whether muscle tone is weak, moderate or strong.

The spa will also teach women how to do Kegel exercises, which is like yoga for your cooter. Dr. Romanzi says, "If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these. It’s the dental floss of feminine fitness.” That's all FINE AND GOOD, but really, the name should be something way cooler. Here are some proposed alternate names for Phit: Cooter Crunch Bally's Total Cl*tness The YMCA: Your Muff Can Achieve! New York Sports Clam Curve Jim's Sideways Taco Fitness Center & Shake Shack Gold's VajayGym Million Dollar Bush: Cl*t Eastwood's Box-ing Training Center (Via Buzzfeed)

This week, MCC puts his patience to the test as he watches William Hurt get shot from seventy-five different angles in Vantage Point, Freddie Highmore not get shot from seventy-five different angles in The Spiderwick Chronicles, and, well, the movie Drillbit Taylor. Which exists:

Click To Play

Last night, I was watching So You Think You Can Dance on DVR (have you heard of this amazing technology that stops time?), and had to temporarily pause the show to go break up a raccoon fight in my backyard. Well, when I came back, I saw the frozen screen and realized...this is not something you'd want your roomy, lover, or cat to see. It totally reminds me of the time when a new roommate of mine walked through the room while I was watching Monster's Ball, right during the sex scene where Halle Barry is grunting and saying "I want somebody to make me feel goooood!" AWKWARD!! Aaaanway, on to the recap of last night's show. Tonight the dancers performed two routines - which can only mean one thing: the competition is HEATING UP. Thankfully, there weren't any annoying pre-taped "let me reveal something totally superficial about my partner" segments. Tabitha & Napoleon were the guest judges, which can only mean one thing: even more long-winded criticisms after each dance! Host Cat Deeley is dressed up like a penguin. SIGNS THAT NIGEL IS ABOUT TO PULL OUT A SHOTGUN AND START PICKING OFF AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Saying to the audience, after getting annoyed several times with the audience's boos, "Look, I'm trying to improve people on this show, and if you don't like that, then why are you here? You can stop coming to the show. You can boo me, but don't boo my good comments. Shut up and listen." Daaaaamn. Did somebody get their once a month? MOST TERRIBLY MANGLED ATTEMPT AT A PUN AND/OR CLEVER METAPHOR: Nigel was not comfortable with Courtney's impersonation of a hip-hop dancer, saying "Courtney, you're not ghetto, you're more like Santa Clause's grotto." Huh? BEST SUGGESTION THAT SYTYCD WILL BE INCLUDED IN HISTORY TEXTBOOKS: Nigel, when praising Katee & Joshua, said that they would definitely be remembered as "one of the 3 or 4 couples to make this season outstanding, when history is written." Recap of the routines, after the jump! ROUND 1 JESSICA & WILL They danced the jive. I gotta admit, this got my toe a tappin! But it did look a little sloppy in places. Jessica just can't match Will's skills. Please direct your attention to the picture at the right. At the very end of their dance, Will looks into the camera with an expression of "please America, PLEASE vote this hack off so I don't have to dance with her anymore!" The judges agreed that Will outshines Jessica, and Nigel warns that when she gets matched up with another dancer (if she makes it that far), she will have problems. COMFORT & THAYNE Comfort and Thayne are together for the first time after their old partners were eliminated. They tackle a Broadway routine that got pretty sexy. Tabitha & Napoleon like this new partnership and loved Comfort's flirtatiousness. Mary is very proud of Comfort, but wishes there had been more wow factor. Nigel gave a rather long speech about the genius of the original choreography from A West Side Story, and then comes down on the couple hard. He said that if they would have been booed off Broadway. KOURTNI & MATT Oh, this was just awful. They danced hip-hop, and I was imagining Josh doing this routine and he would have totally nailed it. Matt was awful. Tabitha & Napoleon hated it, saying there was no bang to it. Mary wasn't feeling it either. Nigel called it hip hop on sleeping pills. CHELSIE & MARK Once again, Chelsie and Mark are amazing, this time dancing a Mandy Moore jazz routine. It was a story of flirtation and they really pulled it off. Tabitha & Napoleon praised them for really being able to tell a story as a couple, and that no matter what they are given, they have that chemistry. Mary teased them by saying "I hate to be a downer tonight...BUT I JUST LOVED IT!!!" Of course she did, she's in love with Mark. Just like I am. What? Mary also said "Chelsie Hightower is towering!" Nigel also loved the dance and commented that the Mark's upper body, and Chelsie's hips, together are "magic." Did Nigel just tell me where babies come from? KHERINGTON & TWITCH These two performed the Paso Doble, a steamy, bull-fighty dance...that began with a lot of ridiculous cape waving. But then it got pretty good, and THANK GOD, Kherington wasn't smiling like a fool this time. Tabitha & Napoleon agreed with me (because they can hear my thoughts during the show), but warned that Twitch, who they felt didn't warm up to it until mid-way, needs to bring it 100% the entire time. Mary thought the dance was full of passion, and had some technical critiques, and Nigel thought that Twitch was "wearing his shoulders like earrings." KATEE & JOSHUA LOVED THIS DANCE. They did a Mia Michaels dance about two people focusing selfishly on their own life. I loved the part where Josh made Katee do a sort of AOL running man across the stage. At the end, Josh was overcome with emotion and said, dramatically, "It's so much more than dancing...it's so much more than dancing." IT SURE IS. Tabitha & Napoleon raved, Mary absolutely loved it, and praised their ability to take a moment of "monumental stillness" and make us feel something. Nigel said it was some "very fancy dancing!" and that what they were doing looked simple, but was in fact very hard to do. And then he goes on about the historical significance of SYTYCD as noted above. COURTNEY & GEV Okay, now we're getting some real hip-hop, none of that lyrical stuff. I thought Courtney was doing a lot better than Gev, which was sort of a shocker given the fact that this was supposed to be Gev's strong point. The judges felt the same way, and pointed out that both were kind of bouncy, instead of hitting it hard. Mary loved Courtney, and was disappointed by Gev. Nigel wondered if it was really hip-hop and said "It felt a bit like Cinderella getting ugly" and compared Courtney to a grotto at the North Pole. ROUND 2 JESSICA & WILL This round they danced a lyrical jazz number to Heart's "Alone." It revolved around the use of a man's shirt (while Will remained topless, HELLO!). It was very SEXUAL...almost dirty. Will was dragging her around the stage and rubbin her all up and down...and then at the end they totally "walked away" as if they were about to go bang somewhere, similar to the feeling you get during a Cialis commercial. The judges loved it, especially Will and his half-nudity. They reinforced the idea that Jessica is holding him down. Also, it was revealed that they had several nervous breakdowns during the week, probably because Will was feeling trapped by his partner. But who can surmise the inner workings of a dancing relationship? THAYNE & COMFORT This was a smooth waltz that had a very dark and Phantom of The Opera feel to it. Comfort looked like an angel floating through the air. Tabitha & Napoleon really enjoyed it, but felt Thayne was a bit on the phony side. Mary compared Comfort to a beautiful dancing butterfly, and Nigel was very pleased. He pointed out that by simply removing her eyebrow piercing, she has become ten times more beautiful. KOURTNI & MATT Now they've got to do the mambo. Kourtni looks pretty hot, and damn does that girl have legs that go on forever. The dancing though is only so-so in my opinion. Tabitha & Napoleon felt that the two needed to get a little more grimy and less jazz-handy with the dance. Napoleon pointed out that when they did the chest roll, he should have seen "smoke comin' out of there." Mary praised Kourtni but thought Matt didn't bring anything to add chemistry. Mary then starts kind of growling to demonstrate how down and dirty they need to be. Nigel blamed some of it on the fact that the choreographers are short (according to Nigel, about 3 inches tall). He also said that Matt needs to be "butcher," which grammatically speaking translates to "more butch." CHELSIE & MARK My fave couple did the fox trot for their second round dance. I was impressed that Chelsie could move in that huge dress covered in feathers - it was ridiculous. The judges loved it, and praised Chelsie for dancing even when there was a feather caught in her mouth. Mary said that despite there being some hard steps in the choreography, they really pulled it off. And of course she talked about how suave Mark looked. Nigel on the other hand felt that Mark was a bit off on his technique. What followed was an awkward exchange between Nigel & Mary, in which Nigel told Mary, "I really respect your opinion, I just wish you'd lower 3 decibels." And of course, Mary just screamed some more. KHERINGTON & TWITCH It is very appropriate I think that a dance choreographed on a bed is set to a John Mayer song. Twitch's body was a wonderland, as he rolled around by himself until Kherington jumps up, a la Fatal Attraction. Tabitha & Napoleon thought it was "awesome awesome awesome" and thought it was storytelling at its best. Mary wooooed it up, and Nigel claimed that the dance was based on his relationship with Mia. INTERESTING. Nigel then said "I want one of these bodies." BUT WHICH ONE??? They are in his top 3. KATEE & JOSHUA They're doing some dance called the West Coast Swing, which apparently requires you to wear totally rockbottom outfits. The dance, however, was pretty cool with a great move at the end where Katee bumped Josh with her butt and he flew across the stage onto the floor. Tabitha & Napoleon said that Katee was on fire. Mary gushed, and Nigel loves their ability to adapt to styles, calling that the essential part of this show. He also said that Katee's ass is a dangerous weapon. COURTNEY & GEV For the final dance of the evening, Courtney and Gev did a Broadway routine involving tourists on their first visit to New York. Courtney's outfit is something I would buy immediately if it was for sale. It was a fun piece overall. Tabitha & Napoleon's only criticism was that they didn't bring the energy down enough in the middle to create the proper build to the end. Mary thought it was really strong and dynamic and it might be enough to send them to the finals! Nigel calls them the underdogs, and that it was the perfect style for them given their tiny size (what is up with Nigel's prejudice against short people?). He said something about it being "down there in the thighs" too which left me feeling dirty. PREDICTION: Jessica and Matt will be going home tonight.

Congratulations are in order!!! Pregnant Transman Thomas Beattie has finally given birth to a baby girl, ABC News is reporting. So, how many minutes from now do you think Thomas and Company are going to hot-foot it to Chicago to show off their little bundle of joy on Oprah? See Also: The 7 People I Want to Breastfeed in Heaven.

Anyone who has ever wandered into an American Apparel and found themselves wondering just what the hell went wrong with their generation will likely enjoy "Hipsters In Space" new video from Current's Super News (who seem to just keep churning out the hits). In the (hopefully) near future, hipsters have fled the earth to the final frontier of pre-gentrified cheap living that hasn't been, like, totally lamed up with corporate bullsh*t: outer space. But when their utopian, retardedly naive and adolescent new way of life is threatened by a space creature who has declared himself "Destroyer of Hipsters", will their buzzes be, like, harshed forever, or will they be saved at the last second by some dipsh*t who calls himself a DJ!?! Watch the video after the jump to find out! Or don't. Whatever.

We dare you to watch the following (possibly "old meme") Carlton Banks Video Compilation, and not get body chills of pure, unadulterated joy-tingles shooting down your coccyx (spelled without the help of Google, tyvm): Good news: Alfonso Ribeiro will be back on the small screen this summer, as host of the GSN's Catch-21. For more fun Carlton vids, check out this excellent retrospective. After the jump, a delightfully 90s-era Fresh Prince: Alfonso Edition blooper reel. 1:40 is brills.

• THE MOST AMAZING WEBSITE OF THE DAY WEEK YEAR: Men Who Look Like Zach Braff. There are thousands of them. (MenWhoLookLikeZachBraff)
• EARLY BDAY PREZ: Ray Romano Sings The Greatest Hits of All Time. (Youtube)
• 21 PRAMS: Naomi Watts has barely popped out her first kid, and she's already pregnant with baby number 2! Proving once again that Liev Schreiber "has it in him." (ONTD)
• SURI UPDATE: Suri Cruise leaves her pod, remains gorge. (Just Jared)
• QUANDRY: If you had a miniature horse, would you actually take it to Denny's? Or would you do what is logical and begin and end the day in the Rainbow Room? Look how effing fancy he is. This is a disgrace. (The Unusual Times)
• HINT THAT VIRAL VIDEOS MAY HAVE JUMPED THE SHARK: If you thought the driver's ed scene in Borat was funny, you probably don't want to ruin those good memories by clicking on the following link. (Gorillamask)

Yesterday, we did our best to come up with the best possible pun headline for the rumored affair between Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. Now, none other than Perez "Creds Mcgee" Hilton is reporting that we've all got the A-Rod / infidelity story backwards, and that A-Rod's wife Cynthia is the one cheating on him, with -- even if this is false it couldn't be funnier -- LENNY KRAVITZ. Rather than waste time debating heresay and unnamed sources, I think it's probably best we just jump ahead and try to guess tomorrow's A-Rod / Cynthia Rodriguez / Lenny Kravitz New York Post pun headline: Are You Gonna 'Ho My Way? A-Rod Infidelity Rumors Backfire Fly Away-rod? Rodriguez Breakup Imminent American Woman, Stray Away From Me Cheating, A-Rod, Over You (off the Infidelity Bites Soundtrack) A-Rod's Marriage, Like Rock & Roll, Is Dead Let Love Rule-s Go Out The Window, Cynthia Rodriguez Don't Care If It's True, This Story Beats The Sh*t Out Of That A-Rod / Mystery Blond Scandal From Last Year (On a related note, not really a lot of well-known Lenny Kravitz singles, and the big ones are all covers -- why is that dude so famous? I digress.) Leave your best A-Rod / Kravitz / Madonna / C-Rod pun headlines in the comments!

I've never used or heard the term "monkey butt" -- I assume it's trucker lingo for "ass falling asleep and itching" -- but this commercial doesn't really need to explain monkey butt, the cause of monkey butt, or what this powder will do to remove said "monkey" from your butt, but I'm still on board. Anti-Monkey Butt Powder, people -- get in on the ground floor while you can:

Have you seen Erykah Badu's new 'do, so to speak? We think we know where she got her inspiration... If you ask me, it kinda looks like sh*t. Also Mr. Hankey... we miss ya!

The dog's even staring into the camera with a look of "Oh yeah, I know it's too damn cute, but what are you gonna do about it?" Is there anything more automatically awww-inspiring than cross-species babying? Most historical evidence would suggest "no". (via ABC News)

So after the nightmare that was Kissing With Ross, and our own even more terrible and disgusting How Not To Kiss, I received the following e-mail from Ross himself:

From: Ross To: Alex Blagg Subject: think you can outkiss me? alex. nice little kissy kiss video today. but i got news for you, friend. YOU CAN'T STEP TO THIS. http://www.KissingBackWithRoss.com oh, and happy birthday. this is the icing on the cake. love, ross

I beg you not to click the link above. What you will find there is unimaginably horrifying. But clearly Ross means business, and I'm unsure what to do at this juncture. Do I take his bait and try to outkiss him, which would lead to some kind of terrible escalating battle of awfulness, like in that movie where the kid goes ))<>((, back and forth, forever? I tried to think of what kind of video we could make in response, but things got illegal pretty quickly. I was going to do a "How To Get To Second Base" video, but found that I was uncomfortable showing my sunken pasty chest and unattractive nipples to the Internet. I need ideas, or Ross wins. What do you guys think?

Please check out this exclusive preview delivered only to us of ABC's brand new HILARIOUS summer sitcom, "9 People... And a Pony," starring Mexico's most famous comedic actor Manuel Uribe. One wonders why the folks over at Primetime: Outsiders didn't just say "10" or "11" people, or maybe subtract a couple of folks, and make "7 People... And a Horse." Then again, I'm not a mathematician, or a tastemaker. All I know is... I can't wait for this show.

Yesterday, I told you about Temptation, the best/worst game show of the new Millennium. But some of you more intellectual folks out there might recall one of the best -- and by "best" I mean "terr" -- game shows from the early 90s, known as Street Smarts. Street Smarts was an amalgamation of various forms of entertainment that never really worked: Stupid game show contestants + man on the street interviews + annoying host types. As a result, it usually aired at 4 in the morning, after some very special episodes of Perfect Strangers. But just because Street Smarts the show sucked, that's not to say that it didn't have its moments. Take, for example, the following contestant named Brad. Brad was your typical 90s meth-heady ADD guy, who was so hyper, in fact, Street Smarts producers told him to calm down or leave. That's right: BRAD ALMOST GOT THROWN OFF OF STREET SMARTS. He tells his tale in the following video, which features clips of the young, feather-cutted lad acting like -- you guess it! -- an ass. Which is why we're crowning Brad... "The Most Hyperactive Game Show Contestant of All Time."

When I first laid eyes upon the new Silver Jews album, Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea, I thought I had seen perhaps the most adorable album cover in the world. But then I wondered... what other album covers existed, perhaps solely, to bring a tear to my eye? And I'm not talking about kids' albums. Those don't count, as their M.O. is to be cute (many of them, nevertheless, are terrifying). So, if you're looking for another way to categorize, list, and rate your extensive CD collection (which, yes, I would LOVE to see), might I suggest considering the cuteness of your albums? While many records try to get your attention by puttin' a tingle in your pants, these album covers put a tingle in your HEART. So it is with great pleasure that I now present THE 30 MOST ADORABLE ALBUM COVERS...that I know of. Prepare to get a heart boner. 30. THE BEACH BOYS "PET SOUNDS" Some people might find the image of the band feeding goats an indicator of some sort of relationship with Satan (obviously!). Whatever the meaning, this trip to the petting zoo is super cute. 29. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE "SOMETHING ABOUT AIRPLANES" Death Cab is oh so cutie with that tiny, tentative sketch of a little row boat. 28. LISA LOEB "HELLO LISA" Hello Kitty. 100% adorable. Lisa Loeb? 98% adorable. (2% deduction for doing a reality show.) See the rest of the precious, after the jump! 27. RADIOHEAD "PABLO HONEY" Ann Geddes owes her entire career to this album. 26. KANYE WEST "GRADUATION" Now, if only his personality was as cute. 25. CAT STEVENS "TEASER AND THE FIRECAT" A pauper-looking kid with kitty under a full moon = adorable. 24. OF MONTREAL "CHERRY PEEL" The James-and-the-Giant-Peachy feel of this melts the heart. 23. KIMYA DAWSON "KNOCK-KNOCK WHO?" Kimya uses pictures of herself as a kid on many of her album covers. Here, adult Kimya in some kind of animal suit is imagining tiny Kimya. 22. PHARRELL "IN MY MIND" Ah yes, thank you. I'll take two tickets to Adorable Nerdsville, if you please. 21. JOANNA NEWSOM "THE MILK-EYED MENDER" Joanna Newsom's precious brain exploded all over this album cover. 20. NIRVANA "NEVERMIND" This would be higher on the list, if it weren't for the underlying dark message of man's greed. Oh, and the full frontal baby nudity. 19. THE BEATLES "WHITE ALBUM" Plain white + tiny font = adorable. 18. XTC "UPSY DAISY ASSORTMENT" Baby animal jumping! 17. VAN HALEN "1984" You had me at baby with cigarettes. 16. THE SHINS "CHUTES TOO NARROW" I don't know what is looking through that parascope, but whatever it is, I guarantee you, it's PRECIOUS. 15. TORI AMOS "LITTLE EARTHQUAKES" Tiny piano! [Please ignore crazy giant lady who is probably going to rape said tiny piano.] 14. NELSON "BECAUSE WE CAN" Because I can. 13. ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI "LIKE IT OR NOT" That alien thingy playing the guitar just sends this one over the top. 12. THE DESCENDANTS "MILO GOES TO COLLEGE" The most ironically adorable cover on the list. 11. EDIE BRICKELL & THE NEW BOHEMIANS "SHOOTING RUBBERBANDS AT THE STARS" Now at first glance you might be creeped out by the cat. BUT TAKE A LOOK AT THE SUN. The eyes pushed over to the side by the L? Just. Can't. Take. It. 10. MELVINS "NUDE WITH BOOTS" Sorry pervs, the only nudity on this album cover is puppy nudity. 9. BJORK "DEBUT" She's so sweet when she's not attacking the photographer. 8. VENUS HUM "THE COLORS IN THE WHEEL" I have no idea what that thing is, but it makes me cry tears of happiness. 7. PAUL SIMON "SURPRISE" Surprise! You're having the cutest baby ever! 6. MARMOSET "TODAY IT'S YOU" Who is this band Marmoset? I have no idea, but you're my new favorite band. p.s. CLICK HERE FOR A PICTURE OF TWO MARMOSETS THAT WILL PUT YOU INTO CARDIAC ARREST. 5. SILVER JEWS "LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN, LOOKOUT SEA" I'm not sure why Babar and his friends are hanging out on some treacherous rocks, but it looks like they're gettin out of there. Shew. 4. SONIC YOUTH "DIRTY" Oh my. Tiny crocheted creature, can I put you in my pocket? 3. LIL WAYNE "THE CARTER III"